I awakened a half hour later than usual this morning. Deep in a dream that ignited long ago memories of a kindergarten playmate, I awoke with a start and looked at the clock. Six thirty. “Oh no,” I murmured to my dog, asleep at the side of the bed, “I overslept.”
Normally, I awaken a few minutes before six a.m., but today, I slept well past my usual time. I hurriedly threw back the covers and groggily made my way down the hall to pull on my walking clothes, brush my teeth and hair. It took more time than usual to make the coffee, feed the dog, and do my regimen of stretching exercises before I was ready to fasten the leash to her collar, the signal that we’re ready to head out the door. Normally she waits patiently, used to the routine of my mornings, but today, she found one of my Croc sandals in the hallway and managed to chew a chunk out of the strap before I realized what she’d done. It seemed we both were unsettled by the disruption and predictability of our early morning routine.
In the poem, “Habit,” Jane Hirshfield describes small rituals that are part of our daily lives:
The shoes put on each time
left first, then right.
The morning potion’s teaspoon
of sweetness stirred always
for seven circlings, no fewer, no more,
into the cracked blue cup.
Touching the pocket for wallet,
for keys,
before closing the door.
How did we come
to believe these small rituals’ promise,
that we are today the selves we yesterday knew,
tomorrow will be?
(Excerpt from “Habit” by Jane Hirshfield, in Given Sugar, Given Salt)
My morning habits, the little rituals of each day, began during a time of difficult transitions, when I adrift in grief and turmoil, coming to terms with the death of a husband and a new life as a single mother. Writing in the early mornings before my children awakened, became a life line, the port in my storm, the way I could make sense of the myriad of emotion that threatened to overwhelm me.
There’s comfort in habit, the little rituals that become part of each day. They allow us to feel connected to ourselves and to the world. We create rituals around important life events—birth, puberty, marriage, death—a way of honoring our transitions from one chapter to the next. In times of uncertainty and change, our rituals keep us grounded. They help us navigate difficult times, provide a sense of familiarity and constancy.
Our daily rituals can even help us heal. They offer time to be quiet and focus on our intentions and actions. They can also function as talismen against fear, and give us the assurance we will be all right.
How did we come
to believe these small rituals’ promise,
that we are today the selves we yesterday knew,
tomorrow will be?
Author Barbara Biziou (www.joyofritual.com) writes that our healing rituals, the little habits that offer us solace or replenishment, allow us to be active participants in our healing process. What defines a healing ritual? They are the things we take solace in doing, a prayer or meditation, a solitary walk in the woods, working in the garden, listening to music, a massage, or sitting quietly at a window with a cup of tea or coffee.. It doesn’t matter what your healing rituals are. What matter is that they help you renew and replenish your spirit and able to hear what’s in your not only your mind, but your heart.
I still write each morning—letting my heart have equal time with my mind on the page. I do it after my early morning walk with the dog, after she and I sit together on the porch swing and watch the sun creep across the canyon, after my first cup of freshly brewed coffee. This is my daily meditation, a time of refuge and quiet before the day intrudes with its list of tasks and disruptions. Without the constancy and regularity of my early morning rituals, I feel, as I did when I overslept this morning, slightly off kilter, not quite ready to take on the day.
What small habits or routines offer calm or comfort in your daily life? How? Why do they matter to you? What do they teach you about yourself? How, in the midst of pain or suffering, do they provide solace? Write about those daily habits, the healing rituals, that are important to your life, your sense of well-being.
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